Lip Service

I'm on a quest for the perfect tinted lip balm, and I have not found it ... YET! It's not that I haven't done the legwork lipwork, it's just that no one brand is delivering on all of my requirements. Why not just shut up, use a lipstick or a gloss, and be done with it already? Well because, and my 35 (nah, she was half dead, she wouldn't care), 25, and 15 year old selves can NOT believe I'm about to say this, but sometimes lipstick, or a lip gloss is just a little too much. There, I said it. I can't take it back now, mostly because it's true!

Ok, so what do I want? Oh, the million dollar question, indeed! 

I need the feel of Vaseline Rosy Lips. Overall it had a really nice glide, and lasting power without going on waxy. I also love the shape of the case / lid, it feels nice, fits in the hand, and is easy to grab from your bag. I just didn't love the way it made my lips peel ... I might need to re-look over that ingredients list, because ruh-roh. I doubt giving customers a chemical lip-peel is the intended outcome for this product, at least I hope anyway, unless it's a really shady way of keeping people coming back, in which case: Booooooo! And a hisssssss, for good measure.

Next up, I need the tint, and fragrance of the Nivea Tinted Lip Care line. All of the colors are hitting on all cylinders. That said, these lip balms go on a little tough, and can feel a bit like rubbing a taper candle on your lips particularly in cooler temperatures. I don't love how the lid bulges in the midsection, that's not shoddy photo editing, this lip balm apparently has a spare tire, and I don't know why. I'm also not seeing the vision here with a fairly robustly perfumed product that tastes like chemical slop. Dump some flavor in the vat, already! Until then, I abhor your lack of whimsy!

Alright, Maybelline Baby Lips, my almost dream-girl! She's got the moisture I want, the shine I love, and the fun packaging (the old stuff as seen here, not the new tubes they've rolled out) that makes me nostalgic for the 90s, and the tint is pretty good, not as heavy as Nivea, but cute; noticeable. My only problem? Her lack of staying power. She is a love 'em & leave 'em type of gal. Blink and she's gone ... 

I'd really love to see this product with the tube in these colors, but the lid shape of the Vaseline Rosy Lips products, plus that lid / tube combo have a slightly better "snap" when closing, not super loud, just secure so you know it's not going to come flying off in your purse. I'd also love to see (if they can ever get their formula just right) more colors released. 

And finally, for flavor, you guessed it: Lip Smacker! Listen, even middle aged girls just wanna have fun! The tubes are too small, there's no noticeable color to the products, they don't have the best staying power, but damn it, they're fun!

Now, let's discuss price. $4.00 and under. Emphasis on under. Tinted lip balm is not, in fact, an exclusive, or luxury item, and yet they've got folks out here paying $15 and over for a glorified Chapstick. Like, be real. Anything that can be sold at the check-out line next to myriad impulse items should never be over five dollars.

So, now that I've scrawled out my list of demands, what company is currently making this product? And which one of you is going to point me in their direction? And do not come at me saying Covergirl, because no they are not at all ... Not even by accident. I tried it, and you will notice not a single attribute made my list. I didn't hate their packaging, I guess, but I found it annoying that the lids didn't match the shade of the product on the inside. I don't know a woman alive who only buys ONE color of something, and we sure as hell don't want to rifle around in a sea of identical packages until we find correct item. 

With that said, all you makeup geniuses out there reading this right now, who's going to be first to concoct this product? I don't even want credit for the idea, just gimme the goods, or drop that release date in my inbox!

xoxo