Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Tonight I Took a Bath With Walt Whitman

And I paused long enough to be reminded how wonderful it is to be a woman.
I Sing the Body Electric (5)

This is the female form,
A divine nimbus exhales from it from head to foot,
It attracts with fierce undeniable attraction,
I am drawn by its breath as if I were no more than a helpless
     vapor, all falls aside but myself and it,
Books, art, religion, time, the visible and solid earth, and what
     was expected of heaven or fear'd of hell, are now consumed,
Mad filaments, ungovernable shoots play out of it, the response
     likewise ungovernable,
Hair, bosom, hips, bend of legs, negligent falling hands all
     diffused, mine too diffused,
Ebb stung by the flow and flow stung by the ebb, love-flesh
     swelling and deliciously aching,
Limitless limpid jets of love hot and enormous, quivering jelly
     of love, white-blow and delirious juice,
Bridegroom night of love working surely and softly into the
     prostrate dawn,
Undulating into the willing and yielding day,
Lost in the cleave of the clasping and sweet-flesh'd day.

This the nucleus--after the child is born of woman, man is born
     of woman,
This the bath of birth, this the merge of small and large, and
     the outlet again.

Be not ashamed women, your privilege encloses the rest, and is
     the exit of the rest,
You are the gates of the body, and you are the gates of the soul.

The female contains all qualities and tempers them,
She is in her place and moves with perfect balance,
She is all things duly veil'd, she is both passive and active,
She is to conceive daughters as well as sons, and sons as well
     as daughters.

As I see my soul reflected in Nature,
As I see through the mist, One with inexpressible completeness,
     sanity, beauty,
See the bent head and arms folded over the breast, the Female
     I see.

What a lovely description of what is encapsulated within the feminine.  I feel I'm the luckiest person on Earth to have been born a girl.  I believe I am the divine manifested in the female form ... correction: I believe we are all the divine manifested in form with the true essence not recognizing separateness.  We are all one, we are all made up of the same parts, the ones we see, and the ones invisible to us.  We originate from the place where nothing, and everything matters simultaneously, but not any of the things that we have come to pollute our daily lives with.  We are not our errands, we are not our tweets, our fancy phones that do everything to keep us "connected" by disconnecting us completely from what is actually life; the living, the wholeness.

I heard once that the only secret regret of a Scorpio woman is that she wasn't born a male.  I hardly think so, and am willing to bet that has never been uttered by any such female even in her inner most thoughts.  Well, I do find myself envying the male physical strength when I find myself pit up against a rather menacing pickle jar.  I wonder what it's like to inhabit a body where things are done with such ease sometimes.  Don't get me wrong, I make out just fine with my little rubber jar opener, but still, can't I marvel at the male form and its design and what makes it different from mine while I celebrate all that is female?  Are we still playing into the battle of the sexes, am I still expected to hate men?  Isn't that getting a little old?  Is my other option to play the Marilyn, and be thrilled to live in a man's world as long as I get to be a woman in it?  I see that didn't work out too well for her.  Can't we just accept that there would be no one without the other?  Realizing that we are necessary to each other, not just in an obvious way, but just for balance's sake even?  Are we ready to see that the society we allow ourselves to exist in which houses the battle, and the pseudo feminism, and abuses against each other is all just part of the illusion?  And that we can change it at any time?  We play into it time and again.  It's a very sad state of affairs, in my opinion, because I believe our true essence is so much greater than all of this.  All of the things we see in this shallow existence that we believe in, and buy into on a daily basis, the ways we treat each other, the roles we plaster each group with, and the roles we willingly play; the choices and decisions we make everyday is what is keeping us trapped, and blinded from what we truly are, and are capable of.  I believe it can all be different (the eternal optimist wrapped in a sarcastic, glitter lip-gloss wearing package), but we have to be willing to put down the distractions long enough to embrace what is. 

I hear women who are actually sad when they have daughters, knowing that she will face all the heartaches her fore mothers experienced, our cycles are called curses, and we're taught in a puritanical society (that contradicts itself by over sexualizing children, but who's counting?) that what's under our skirts is dirty, ugly, and basically to be ignored ... you know, until a man wants it.  Are you kidding me?  If that's what being a woman is, then no thank you.  I don't fit in your brand of "real world", my feet will go on dancing through the existence I'll continue to create for myself  (hey, if it's gonna be an illusion, it may as well be fabulous!).  As long as we have physical bodies I want to live in a place where instead of focusing on the heartaches, we are taught to love and appreciate the depth of a woman's heart, and the constant renewal / rebirth she is capable of.  A place where we are not expected to be ashamed of what makes us female, and a place where we do not need to "learn" what it is to be a woman from anyone else but our own inner voice, essence, divine guidance, whatever you want to call it, or whatever you believe it is.  The truth is, we're born with it.  It's always there in the vibrations of the Earth that trickle up through your body, and the gentle sway of the moon as she does her work, in that place where nothing, and everything matters all at once -where you are energy, and I am energy, and the space between is energy - where we are nothing as we know it, and everything as we don't, and we are all one.