Monday, August 30, 2010

Oh Make Me Over

Frankenstein is finally finished ... well for now at least, knowing the way I change my mind!  Why Frankenstein?  I admit, the name's still a work in progress, but I thought it fit today just thinking about scavenging for all her parts ... chicken wire from Dad's shop, a birdbath (or was it a feeder?) base from his wife, and countless other secret ingredients including a trip to the mistint counter at Lowe's.  Besides the fact that it's taken me months to get used to seeing her lurking in my dark house during a trip to the kitchen for some water in the middle of the night, and never mind the fact that my cat is terrified of her, but I think that had more to do with a laser pointer mishap (sorry kiki). 

For those of you entertaining the idea of someday ever creating your own mannequin, don't.  Or if you do, I urge you not to do it the hard way like I did, and take a lesson from this cookie she knows what she's talking about.  If only I'd found her instructions at the beginning of my chicken wire mannequin affair instead of in the middle of it.  Perhaps once I psychologically recover I'll give it a try and make another one, but I'll not start holding my breath anytime soon, I actually want to be alive long enough to see this one get some use!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Talking Leaves

That was a name I coined for a color in college, it was a Native American themed project, and I thought both the people and the name had a certain mystery about them.  I love the thought of leaves suspended high above us, with something to say about everything like thousands of little busy bodies whom never let even the smallest details slip their attention, or passing along important messages as the wind carries them to the appropriate ears. 

My leaves are certainly talking today, they've been good company all morning as I'm elbow deep in
projects.  I see the heavy limbs dip so they can peek in through the window at me to see what I'm up to, and bounce back up to the dark gray sky to pass along the news.  Somewhere along the way they mentioned to me that it was Fall now, though I knew it a week ago that the weather would not be waiting for the calendar to catch up ... it never really does around here.  But just in case I wasn't ready to believe the leaves swaying to and fro while others danced around twirling like my niece in a princess dress til the cold moist grass tickled their toes I saw Tommy (the squirrel, and yes I name everything) run by with some non-perishables for his pantry, and it hit me, not like a ton of bricks or anything.  Fall is something I ease into like a hot bath, it just envelopes me completely. 

There's something exciting to me about that first bite of crisp air that lets you know something more is going on than meets the eye.  I've been flirting with the rich colors of the season, and day dreaming of wrapping up in the warm woollen camel colored coats we'll be seeing everywhere soon.  And this year like many before it sends thoughts through my head of crackling leaves underfoot, ivy covered brick, age stained book pages, tweed jackets with leather elbow patches, beaver fur coats, pennants, Oxford bags, and new beginnings.  Autumn to me has always been more about new beginnings than Spring ... the acorn has to fall in order for something to be sprouting come springtime.  Even though everything seems to be coming to life, something had to be planning the arrival beforehand. 

Well it's back to work with me, I just had to take a break before tantrums ensued ... I have that problem when I'm working on intricate things that require a new definition of tedium, there's something that would be so soothing in the sound of breaking glass when I've been going at it too long.  I chose this instead, and no clean up required!


Saturday, August 21, 2010

They're Here!

My order from Moo, that is, and I couldn't be more excited!  Okay, I admit, I don't have a ceiling on my excitement level, but still, this ranks somewhere near wherever the top would be.  What great icing on my blogiversary cake, to boot!

Two years ago, today, I was dreaming up a new path to take.  I had no idea exactly what the path looked like, but fragments I was cooking up in my mind started looking right.
And I knew if I exhaled, and closed my eyes that when I opened them I would see more clearly the

direction I was supposed to be going.  I admit, at first it felt very selfish.  It was the first time in a very long while that I was making decisions based solely on what I felt I needed, and my best interest, and not the interests of others.  Which, truthfully, is still a struggle for me sometimes, but we all have a responsibility to ourselves to be true to what we feel inside, and to be honest with ourselves first and foremost otherwise we're of no use to anyone else.

So, I think I'll leave it there for now.  It's been a strange year, and I feel miles from where it started, but in a good way, and I'm definitely enjoying the trajectory, and I'm excited to find what's around the next corner.  Here's to year three!


P.S. I totally recommend Moo for your printing needs!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Lookie What I'VE Got!

I love peas!  I don't like them frozen, cooked, split, whirled, or any other way besides fresh out of the pod.  So that's why I decided to grow them up my trellis on my patio ... well that, and because after watching Food Inc. (an absolute must watch) and thinking about the state of produce in America and how it's ripened by spraying all sorts of terrifying chemicals on them, I'm a little nervous buying any from my neighborhood supermarket.

So, that's it for now, just a little peek at my bebe snow peas.  They're pretty cute.


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Tonight I Took a Bath With Walt Whitman

And I paused long enough to be reminded how wonderful it is to be a woman.
I Sing the Body Electric (5)

This is the female form,
A divine nimbus exhales from it from head to foot,
It attracts with fierce undeniable attraction,
I am drawn by its breath as if I were no more than a helpless
     vapor, all falls aside but myself and it,
Books, art, religion, time, the visible and solid earth, and what
     was expected of heaven or fear'd of hell, are now consumed,
Mad filaments, ungovernable shoots play out of it, the response
     likewise ungovernable,
Hair, bosom, hips, bend of legs, negligent falling hands all
     diffused, mine too diffused,
Ebb stung by the flow and flow stung by the ebb, love-flesh
     swelling and deliciously aching,
Limitless limpid jets of love hot and enormous, quivering jelly
     of love, white-blow and delirious juice,
Bridegroom night of love working surely and softly into the
     prostrate dawn,
Undulating into the willing and yielding day,
Lost in the cleave of the clasping and sweet-flesh'd day.

This the nucleus--after the child is born of woman, man is born
     of woman,
This the bath of birth, this the merge of small and large, and
     the outlet again.

Be not ashamed women, your privilege encloses the rest, and is
     the exit of the rest,
You are the gates of the body, and you are the gates of the soul.

The female contains all qualities and tempers them,
She is in her place and moves with perfect balance,
She is all things duly veil'd, she is both passive and active,
She is to conceive daughters as well as sons, and sons as well
     as daughters.

As I see my soul reflected in Nature,
As I see through the mist, One with inexpressible completeness,
     sanity, beauty,
See the bent head and arms folded over the breast, the Female
     I see.

What a lovely description of what is encapsulated within the feminine.  I feel I'm the luckiest person on Earth to have been born a girl.  I believe I am the divine manifested in the female form ... correction: I believe we are all the divine manifested in form with the true essence not recognizing separateness.  We are all one, we are all made up of the same parts, the ones we see, and the ones invisible to us.  We originate from the place where nothing, and everything matters simultaneously, but not any of the things that we have come to pollute our daily lives with.  We are not our errands, we are not our tweets, our fancy phones that do everything to keep us "connected" by disconnecting us completely from what is actually life; the living, the wholeness.

I heard once that the only secret regret of a Scorpio woman is that she wasn't born a male.  I hardly think so, and am willing to bet that has never been uttered by any such female even in her inner most thoughts.  Well, I do find myself envying the male physical strength when I find myself pit up against a rather menacing pickle jar.  I wonder what it's like to inhabit a body where things are done with such ease sometimes.  Don't get me wrong, I make out just fine with my little rubber jar opener, but still, can't I marvel at the male form and its design and what makes it different from mine while I celebrate all that is female?  Are we still playing into the battle of the sexes, am I still expected to hate men?  Isn't that getting a little old?  Is my other option to play the Marilyn, and be thrilled to live in a man's world as long as I get to be a woman in it?  I see that didn't work out too well for her.  Can't we just accept that there would be no one without the other?  Realizing that we are necessary to each other, not just in an obvious way, but just for balance's sake even?  Are we ready to see that the society we allow ourselves to exist in which houses the battle, and the pseudo feminism, and abuses against each other is all just part of the illusion?  And that we can change it at any time?  We play into it time and again.  It's a very sad state of affairs, in my opinion, because I believe our true essence is so much greater than all of this.  All of the things we see in this shallow existence that we believe in, and buy into on a daily basis, the ways we treat each other, the roles we plaster each group with, and the roles we willingly play; the choices and decisions we make everyday is what is keeping us trapped, and blinded from what we truly are, and are capable of.  I believe it can all be different (the eternal optimist wrapped in a sarcastic, glitter lip-gloss wearing package), but we have to be willing to put down the distractions long enough to embrace what is. 

I hear women who are actually sad when they have daughters, knowing that she will face all the heartaches her fore mothers experienced, our cycles are called curses, and we're taught in a puritanical society (that contradicts itself by over sexualizing children, but who's counting?) that what's under our skirts is dirty, ugly, and basically to be ignored ... you know, until a man wants it.  Are you kidding me?  If that's what being a woman is, then no thank you.  I don't fit in your brand of "real world", my feet will go on dancing through the existence I'll continue to create for myself  (hey, if it's gonna be an illusion, it may as well be fabulous!).  As long as we have physical bodies I want to live in a place where instead of focusing on the heartaches, we are taught to love and appreciate the depth of a woman's heart, and the constant renewal / rebirth she is capable of.  A place where we are not expected to be ashamed of what makes us female, and a place where we do not need to "learn" what it is to be a woman from anyone else but our own inner voice, essence, divine guidance, whatever you want to call it, or whatever you believe it is.  The truth is, we're born with it.  It's always there in the vibrations of the Earth that trickle up through your body, and the gentle sway of the moon as she does her work, in that place where nothing, and everything matters all at once -where you are energy, and I am energy, and the space between is energy - where we are nothing as we know it, and everything as we don't, and we are all one.