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| Still Life with Golden Goblet, Pieter de Ring (1655 - 1660) |
FTC Affiliate Disclosure
Ok, so after burning down my life to implement The 12 Week Year this Spring, I decided this Summer I'd look into a little something the Dutch call, niksen, with the help of the book by, Olga Mecking, Niksen: Embracing the Dutch Art of Doing Nothing. I mean, so far so good, right? I'm digging that title already, it sounds exactly like how I want to spend my Summer!
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| Monsieur et Madame |
June is comin' in hot, folks, and I'm not talking about the weather, though my most excellent tan (circa 1986, minus the body stickers) might suggest otherwise! It's just that I've got a lot of things coming up, or rather coming to an end this month that if I'm not exactly excited about, I'm at least excited to get through, or maybe just excited for what's next? All I know is that what follows is going to be different from what was, and that is the most wonderful feeling. This year is flying (galloping?), and for the first time in many, many years I feel like I'm ... Well, if not keeping up, I'm at least not drowning, and THAT is a huge level up!
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| Girl With Balloon - Original Stencil by, Banksy |
A significant amount of my life has been shaped by death, and divorce ... Which is particularly strange when you consider, I'm neither dead, nor divorced. Dead inside? Maybe. Dead to 1 or 2 people? Sure, even more than that, probably (if I'm completely honest)! Divorced? Perhaps from reality now and then, depending on who you ask ... But as of this posting I'm still currently untethered, and topside, and yet, if I had to describe what has, without a doubt, influenced my life the absolute most, it can always be distilled down to death and divorce. I remember knowing, as a young child, that my existence differed greatly from the other children around me. I experienced, and witnessed things that, even now with two feet firmly planted in middle age, my friends are just now beginning to experience themselves, and still more things most of them never will. Is it just a Scorpio thing ... Death, transformation, rebirth, a curious compatibility with the dark underbelly, or even unexplainable aspects of life? Was I born a little too late into a family of malcontents? A little of both probably, but who really knows?
Oh. My. God.
So, if you read my last post, in one month, I've gone from a Spring & Summer of broken pipes, and torn up lawns, and collapsing garden beds, and invasive weeds, and death, and glitches, and a mini neighborhood crime wave to collapsing porch railings, massively clogged downspouts, broken down fences, a dog that's refusing to eat most days, broken furniture delivered on the (wrong) rainiest day possible, windstorms & power outages, and bursting kitchen faucets ... And that's honestly just the highlight reel. It's safe to say that 2024 is absolutely kicking my tail— not necessarily in a bad way, but not in a not-bad way either (if that makes sense).
Oof. Reviewing the last three months of my calendar trying to figure out what to write in this moment, I am completely dumbstruck that August has come to an end. Ok, ok if you're less than new here you know I kind of do this ... Often. Like, how can any one person be SO utterly bamboozled by the time of year, or the incessant passing of days? You're probably wondering, and I mean, don't get me wrong I'm not like a startled baby seeing a rainbow prism for the first time dancing across the wall on a sunny day or anything...
I know I can't possibly be the only person out here that finds living in an era of pervasive sensationalization ...
Exhausting.
My fellow Americans, and little darlings it's been a long, cold, lonely Winter (are you singing along? Don't worry, I won't make you follow the bouncing ball). The good news is, I think I'm finally on the verge of thawing out ... Slooooowly, but surely. The bad news is, I'm not entirely positive I'm ready for it. I mean, I am, but I'm not if that makes sense. I could definitely use several more dark weeks of blissful nothingness. You know, those terrible blustery days where the light never seems to join the party, and morning just sort of stretches into evening completely unnoticed, and no one really expects much out of anyone? Yeah, I could take a handful of those right about now. I guess it's pretty lucky I'm in the PNW then, I'm sure something like that will be on the menu once or twice in the next couple of months, I'm just longing to overnight them for no extra fee.
Oddly enough, this has been the most productive start to a year I've had in a ridiculously long time. I've begun planning my garden, hell I've already started most of my seeds! I've got a jump start on Spring Cleaning - I've been scrubbing, and shoveling out my house, getting rid of everything I don't love, or has become useless. The thing is, in my regularly scheduled life I'm a very tidy person; everything has a place, and all that, but lately I have admittedly NOT been living like that, and for quite a while now when I look around my house, I kind of just see everything through a red haze, and hear synthesizers in my head. I knew something had to give, but now I've become reorganizing fiend! I've been framing & hanging, replacing, removing, washing, and folding, storing, and tossing like a mad woman. And now ... I'm even cataloging and spreadsheet-ing. I know, I know this pen & paper gal barely recognizes herself either, but It's amazing how my life changes when I start the morning by eating a complete protein!
Pray for me, send good vibes, or phone in a good old fashioned Care Bear stare that I will be able to ride this wave of productivity for the rest of the year, and I'll do the same for you. Wishing you all the luck in the world that you're successful in whatever you need to accomplish right now!
xoxo
"Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the Summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day ... Make a wish and think of me." -Robin Williams
As I sat in the dark morning hours listening to the fog horns from the passing cargo ships blow through my sleepy little bay, all I could think about was the rain mere hours away (that won't stop until next May June July). This piece of information has had me in quite a state ... You know when something vibrates so fast that it appears to be still? That's pretty much how I spent this entire past week. I am working my way through my massive to-do list, but my head is whirring and zinging, and even though things are getting done, it doesn't really look, or feel like it. The most potentially paralyzing aspect of this week, as I feel myself slipping into the comfy coping mechanism of procrastination, has been that this isn't even my end-of-season to-do list, this is just all the junk that needs to get done now because I don't have a garage, or barn, or lean-to, or even a SunSetter retractable awning to work under during the swiftly approaching deluge. I still have my to-do list, the one full of all the things that can be done in the rain that I am already completely dreading. I'm trying to finish the season strong so I have as few of the rainy day tasks as possible, but I know I'm still going to spend at least part of this Fall as a drowned rat.
And the Audacity of This Bitch.
How was your Summer? Mine? Pretty weird, to be perfectly honest, which is kind of becoming the common theme around here. So, I guess that means it's not actually weird anymore, but then again, just because a thing begins to happen on a regular basis, it is by no means a reason to accept it as normal, so there's that ... But also, of course, sometimes you just need a laugh, and I suppose it's been good for that.
Why Am I Talking???
It's no secret around here that last year did not go according to plan.
Like, any plan what-so-ever.
"Will she ever shut up about it?" You may be asking ... And the answer is, I did ... Throughout most of last year ... As it was happening— thanks in large part to a terrible internet connection. It must've been because everyone was reworking everything to get kids back into some kind of distance learning of one kind or another, or maybe my account was just being throttled because I refuse to upgrade to the more expensive package, but whatever the reason, I spent the majority of last year being more offline than on. It's amazing how quickly we've adapted to rely on all of this technology, especially all of us kids who grew up almost totally analog. I've become so accustomed to, what I call, my Judy Jetson life I'd always dreamed of as a child ... Just the sheer access to everything: People, resources, things at the push of a button, it's wild! To have it all stripped away in an instant forces a person to confront their own purpose, and really, their mere existence.
If you've been around here a little while, you've probably heard me use the word "mastermind" once or twice in reference to creative groups I've been a part of in the past, but what is it really? Napoleon Hill introduced us to the notion with his 1925 book, The Law of Success, and to me, is best described on Wikipedia (I know, I know...) as "a peer-to-peer mentoring group used to help members solve their problems with input and advice from the other group members." We could sit here and inject prettier words, and try to spice it up a bit, but that description really gets to the meat of it without wasting any time. Although, I do find Hill's detail a bit too romantic not to include:
No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind.
How old were you when you learned the word compersion? Oh this is wild, spell-check didn't even recognize it just now. Back to the topic at hand, how old were you? Are you learning it right now? Let me tell you, I was thirty-eight years old before I'd ever even heard it, let alone learned what it was. If this is your first time seeing it, without look it up, what do you think it means? Some of you word nerds out there are probably able to put it together, but I would have never guessed.
It is well, and truly Spring now, can you hardly believe it?! I can't. Winter did a number on me this year, I can not lie. Typically, I look forward to the cold, darker months. I really enjoy curling up with novels of the American Gothic variety, or I'll take all the time stuck indoors as an opportunity to tear my kitchen apart and reorganize things that got ignored during all those months when the sun was shining - instead of Spring cleaning, I'm a big Fall cleaner. Around the end of September I like to wrap up my outdoor projects, and turn my focus on the interior of my home, and get it ready to embrace and comfort me for the next several months. I didn't do any of that last year. A few posts ago I already mentioned how pretty much my entire year last year did not go to plan at all, and for the most part I was okay-ish rolling with the punches, but by October the wheels really fell off, and it was really ... something. I honestly haven't had a year like 2021 in over a decade, and I'm really hoping I'm good for another ten years!
One bright spot in 2021 was discovering this absolute gem of a rose shop out of Brenham, Texas: The Antique Rose Emporium.
You've gotta get a load of this place! You might be asking, what's the big deal anyway, all these places are the same. No. They're really not all the same. At first glance, I could understand why a person would think that, I'm sure I probably thought that as well at first click, but then I dug a little deeper. Y'all these folks are straight up Rose Nerds, and I love it! They're experts in rare, and obscure specimens, and down right ancient varieties, made even cooler by the fact that you can shop by year of entry. Exibit A: Sweet Briar Rose introduced prior to 1551.
"... a favorite English native that has been recorded in literature from Chaucer to Shakespeare."
**Swoon**
You get a free mini-history lesson all while browsing gorgeous blooms! What is there to not like about that, my fellow geeks? I'll tell you. Not a damn thing! What's even more incredible is that the plants are sold in gallon pots for a solid third of the price other places are asking for the same bushes. I was stunned when my boxes arrived ... I honestly expected little 2 - 4 inch pots for 20 bucks a piece. No, Ma'am. Full, baby shrubs showed up ready to be popped into the ground and strut their stuff this year, not some sad looking twig in a peat pot. AND THAT'S NOT EVEN AT THE WHOLESALE PRICE! Granted, they had to scrap the wholesale program this year because their inventory has been severely impacted by several factors converging at once, but I can imagine when it is up and running, it will absolutely melt my mind.
After everything that went wrong last year, it's been a real treat to have my order from The Antique Rose Emporium arrive healthy, undamaged, and ready to rumble in the garden. If you're looking for roses to put in your garden, I hope you'll give them a try, my only regret is that it took me so long to find out about this place!
xoxo
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| New tapestry for my someday art studio |
I don't know about anyone else, but I've had the hardest time getting into the "swing" of this here new year. I'm sure the invasion of Ukraine, and the fact that my family has extended family and friends in, around, and from the affected areas isn't exactly helping ... But even without the chaos of war constantly looming in my mind, it's been incredibly difficult for me to get motivated for anything, which is pretty strange for me, because typically I'm all: Let's plan it! Review it! Make a list (many lists)! And check them way more than twice ... But I just can't, like, get there ... Which is madness in itself, because I have everything I need, and arguably more, and yet, I'm just here in this weird purgatory. I mean, I haven't even done my 2021 wrap-up yet.
During, and after every crisis the Mr. Rogers quote, "Look for the helpers" makes the rounds on social media, and it's wonderful ... It really is ... But you know he's talking about you, right? Well, you, me, us, all of us - WE'RE the adults now, and we're the ones that are supposed to be helping.
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| Gifts from my garden, Summer 2021 |
... Seems like a terrible thing to say in the face of so much loss, and sacrifice many of us around the globe have experienced this year, but also there's an entire group of folks out there who simply keep on keepin' on, no matter how tough things get, and it's a bigger deal than most of us allow ourselves to think it is. It doesn't take anything away from our tragedies to acknowledge a little resilience along the way.
I see you.
I love you.
And I hope where ever you are, and how ever you're doing, and what ever the new year brings our way, that you remember to be kind to yourself, always.
xoxo
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| Christmas Lights 2008 |
The snow's coming down; I'm watching it fall.
It started coming down, the first snow of the season, on the way back from something that's become a tradition over the last several years that I share with my mother. The city was dark. And quiet. Most folks don't leave their lights on overnight anymore, I enjoy slinking around in the shadows, though, especially on a day when it seems to be accepted logic that we're all snug in our beds with visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads for, well, another few hours, at least. There's something almost forbidden to being out and about this early, and I love the camaraderie amongst the holiday stragglers in those pre-dawn hours. All of us going about our business ... alone ... together. A little bit curious, with a warmth in our aloofness. No prying, just acceptance. And then we're back at home, at least I am, before the sun comes up. I'm typing this from my bed, curled up in a fuzzy sweat suit, listening to the slush pelt the glass panes of my window.
The snow's coming down. I'm watching it fall.
It's not going to stick.
But it snowed. On Christmas.
xoxo
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| Spoon rings by, Mike Smyth for the Eclectic Shoppe |
I recently told someone that they reminded me how I want to spend my life surrounded by the makers of the world, not the breakers of it, and it's true, it's where I feel the most alive. If you're creating something, growing something, fabricating something, or teaching something ... I want to be part of it! I am, quite frankly, done with all of the bitchers, twitchers, and even the do-nothing belly-itchers. Meaning, obviously there's a time for every purpose, and it's healthy for folks to rest, clear the air, or blow off steam, I'm definitely not a big cheerleader of toxic-positivity where it's all smiles all the time ... or else! What I'm talking about are the attitudes that keep people stuck, stagnant, and small. I'm happiest when I'm living a life that's expansive, and abundant, and I can't occupy that space when I'm experiencing crushing negativity. I'd argue that no one can.